Petty Crime

[Alan]

It's a great Australian tradition to leave your thongs at the end of the track to the beach, knowing that no one would be low enough to steal them.

Well, I lost a second pair yesterday. (a very cheap pair of 'Ford' thongs - obviously not a Holden man)

So I made up a sign to warn others.....





.... and would you believe it - I wandered down to the beach early this morning and SOMEONE HAD STOLEN THE SIGN

I already had a second 'dress' pair of thongs, but I went out and bought another crappy pair in a different colour today, so I'm going to wear one of each pair to the beach in future

[sejac]

The times they are a changin! Hey, what a catchy line for a song. I wonder if anyone has used it!

Ten or so years ago (maybe a bit more!) you would not see any police at WOMADelaide. Now it's sniffer dogs (Bella has volunteered. I need to talk to her about that.) and cops everywhere.

And you used to be able to leave your stuff anywhere, and leave it to go see one of the shows. Well, we did that a couple of years ago, and our chairs were nicked.

It's just not the same ......... that old WOMADelaide vibe is just not there any more.

BTW, surely the poodles should be able to track down the culprits. Bella is consistently outraged by outbreaks of criminality in our area. Recently, the peafowl took one of her Schmackos(?) treats, and she is still getting over it. She claims it's PTSD, and wants counselling.

[Alan]

(That is a catchy title Charles - I think someone has used it though.)

I suspect the same thing is happening at Folk Festivals too. I haven't been to one for many years but, as you say, you could leave anything anywhere and return to find it still there.

Same for Caravan Parks - police are now reporting the theft of fishing rods, eskies, bikes etc - anything not tied down or locked up. Sad

BTW - the poodles said tracking felons is not in their job description, (actually, when I looked it up there is nothing in there at all except, "will be required to bark loudly, suddenly and in unison at anyone or dog who sets foot on their property - or anyone who rides or walks past it - and any imaginary intruder of any kind, shape or species, at any time of the day or night)

They take it very seriously and they are very good at it. Protracted workplace bargaining has not resolved the obvious issues raised.

They drive a hard bargain - oh, that sounds like a good title for a song too..

[Alan]

I'm not sure what your Bella has negotiated, but under our poodles' 'Job Description' I just found the 'Entitlements and Benefits' section........

Politicians have nothing compared to what these pampered pooches have negotiated..

Free food and board for life (with special beds and unfettered access to owners' bed )

Free medical/dental care for life

Free transport for life

Free professional grooming for life

Free clothes for life

Free fluffy toys, (which can be eviscerated on a whim), toilet rolls, TV

Access to any chair, bed or lap without warning

Free guided walks and personal poo pick up service - WHAT!!!!

Constant positive feedback required eg, "Who's a Good Dog" etc

If an alien observed this they would be left in no doubt as to who the superior species on earth was.

[sejac]

Alan, this is a pretty bog standard contract you have there. Nothing really out of the ordinary at all. Bella assures me it's just an RSPCA pro-forma you can download from their Russian mirror site.

In addition, Bella has negotiated:

Random tummy scratches whenever she rolls over.

Hugs and kisses, especially from Elizabeth.

A share of any chicken we ever have for a meal.

Regular conjugal visits to her boyfriend, Max.

No scolding for any perceived transgressions. Such transgressions, should they occur, are deemed to be the fault of the owner. Me mainly.

Have you read the fine print Alan? Better check it out. You may be in for a surprise.

[Isac]

Times definitely have changed guys. With modern technology nowadays, it's cheap to set up CCTV wireless so you can catch these slimy low lifes. Most people in our street have CCTV installed because of slimes and it works. We are all incontact with each other and police hotlines and we only have one more lot to remove from our neighbourhood, which according to police is about to happen. A fabulous result. And Alan - I can't think of a thong to thing at present.

[Isac]

Seeing you guys are poodle owners, would you like to send me (or post) a portrait (close-up) of one of them? I'm doing a little Photoshop project and it would help immensely. Thanks.

[Alan]

Sent you a couple